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Finding Your Own Voice – The Inner Critic by Jimi Durso
In my most recent performance with Coincidence Machine, I was reminded again of the power of the inner critic. We all have one. It’s that voice in your head that tells you your line doesn’t groove, or that what you came up with isn’t hip enough, is too unusual, or too conventional, or whatever else you find wrong with your own playing. In order to be a creative bass player you need to come to terms with this aspect of yourself.
Some have recommended silencing this voice (though the earliest person I know of to speak on this was Maxwell Maltz in his system of “psycho-cybernetics”, my first exposure to the concept was at a seminar led by trombonist Ray Anderson) but the inner critic isn’t all bad. It’s the voice that tells you that you need to improve your intonation, or that you’re rushing the time, and many other weaknesses that without the aid of the inner critic you’d likely just leave alone (and never become the beat musician you can be).
But this critic becomes an issue when it disallows you from reaching your full potential, preventing you from exploring the vast wealth of possibilities that you can conceive of. This is why some say to “silence the inner critic”. Especially since, in a playing situation, you don’t generally have time to be arguing with yourself, or constantly passing judgment on what you’re trying to do in the moment.
The problem with this is that it’s next to impossible, and not really necessary (especially in light of the good things the inner critic does for us) to silence. I’d say it’s more a matter of learning to use this inner voice as a collaborator but not give it too much power.
For instance: imagine that you’re at a jam session and you’re struck with an idea, but it’s a bit unconventional. You’re inner critic may rise up and exclaim, “If you play that these people will think you’re too avant-garde”. This may even be true, but if you keep deferring to the judgment of your inner critic, you may find that it starts taking more and more control and you put yourself into a box (and one that continually gets smaller). Something I find useful is to acknowledge the inner critic, but treat what is about to happen as a sort of science experiment (e.g. “Let’s see if they do find this too avant-garde or not”). What I’ve found is that most of the time my inner critic is far more conservative than the people it’s afraid of alienating. As this continued, the inner voice started becoming less imposing (saying “This may be too unusual for this group” rather than “This will be too way-out and these guys will never want to play with you again”).
Over time you may find that your inner critic becomes more of a friend than an adversary, and you may start to enjoy discovering which ideas of yours really work and which ones don’t (in your own opinion). And every time you choose to do something that’s uniquely you, and the players and/or audience reward you for it, those inner criticisms become less stifling.
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Photo: Self-portrait by Melissa Auf Der Maur
Melissa Auf Der Maur is a Canadian bassist who played with Tinker, Hole, and The Smashing Pumpkins. She released her own work and is a photographer with photos published in Nylon, Bust, and National Geographic. She released her ‘90s Rock Memoir “Even The Good Girls Will Cry” on 17 March 2026.
KB: Did you always want to be a singer-musician growing up?
I’ve played music my whole life. In school, I played trumpet and sang in a children’s choir, so music was always within me. My mother was the first female disc jockey on the Montreal airwaves; her record collection played a huge role in my inspiration and love of music.
KB: When did you start playing bass, and why this instrument?
When I was 19, the early 90s music explosion began to percolate in tiny clubs around the world. I was lucky to be a ticket girl at Montreal’s underground music club. In one year, I saw Hole, Sonic Youth, Smashing Pumpkins, White Zombie, and The Breeders – all had female bass players. That’s when the seed was planted. By the age of 22, I was the bass player of Hole.
KB: Which brands of basses have you used in your career, and which one are you using now?
The first bass that I learned on was a vintage Squier Precision. Hole was sponsored by Fender guitars, so I upgraded to Fender Custom Shop Precisions. That is all I play, but I have a cool vintage 8-string Greco that I use on recordings to thicken up guitar parts.
KB: What equipment do you use or have you used with your basses?
Ampeg SVT amps and cabinets, a couple of Sans-Amp pedals, and that is it.
KB: How did you become a member of Hole, and what is your fondest memory of that time?
Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins was helping scout a replacement for (RIP) Kristen Pfaff, Hole’s bass player. My band, Tinker, opened for them on the Siamese Dream tour, so Billy had seen me play and could vouch for me. Courtney trusted her talented friend, and that was it. I initially said “no thank you” due to my commitment to my photographic studies and the drama and chaos surrounding the band during the “Live Through This” album release. Courtney took it as a good sign that I said no, so convinced me to reconsider, and soon after, I accepted their invitation, in the name of helping put females in the male-dominated landscape of rock music. My fondest memory is every show we played as a mostly female band, symbolizing what a woman could do in a rock band. Every show had a purpose: get more women to play music.
KB: You are a photographer as well. What makes a great picture? Do you shoot in color or b/w?
I started shooting photographs at age 15. Initially only shot black & white and worked in the art school darkroom. In university, I took a color photography course, and shifted mostly and forever to that, because it was easier to process film on the road when I joined a rock band. I experimented with many cameras, point and shoots, manual, polaroids, medium format, and vintage finds. The trick to a good photograph is to shoot many and all the time – the magic is in the edit and selection process.
KB: Are there artists you would love to collaborate with or wish you had?
??I’ve been lucky to collaborate with some of my favorite musicians in my career. I would still love to collaborate with a new generation heavy electronic artist on an analog bass, heavy electronic drums, and synths collaboration project. Take me out of my usual zone, merging the past and future: my love of 80s dark new wave and new artists exploring that genre. It was very futuristic back then, and we are now, after all, living in the future. I am in the mood to play bass to heavy beats I want to dance to.
KB: What are your 7 favorite bass lines in music across all genres? And why these 7?
“Mountain Song” – Jane’s Addiction (love a rambling, rolling bass line – feels like the ocean waves)
“Black Top – Helmet” (was the first bass line I taught myself)
“Gold Dust Woman” – Hole from “The Crow 2” Soundtrack (it was my first bass line contribution to the band)
“Get Ready” – The Temptations (Motown just feels so good, because of the bass)
“Lucretia My Reflection” – Sisters of Mercy (makes me want to hit the dance floor and play bass simultaneously)
“Be My Druidess” – Type O Negative (full chord bass playing at its best by iconic, demonic, Peter Steele, RIP)
“Romantic Rights” – Death from Above (1979 – unique distorted overdriven tone, combined dance rhythm and melodic intelligence, all in one shot – also! Shout out to a bass & drum only band, which is awesome, and we should have more of, but the bass player needs to be a killer to fill that role.
KB: What are you currently up to?
Releasing my ‘90s Rock Memoir “EVEN THE GOOD GIRLS WILL CRY”. Visceral healing process, it was to get it out of me and write it, but I suspect the real magic will begin by putting it into the world and reflecting with others on what the magic of the ‘90s was all about. Powerful music decade that carried us into what is now a brave new world of digital corporate weirdness – may the past shed a light on our future. That’s my hope for this book release and tour.
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