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Emotions: The Musicians Binding Inspiration by Kilian Duarte
Meet Killian Duarte –
Musicians are a very unique breed. While any profession in the world can be loved dearly and enhanced by a persons passion for it, only the arts really requires a person to channel their frustrations, fears, heartaches, and joy into what they do in order to make the end product become genuine. Every bassist reading this magazine has their reasons for being musically involved, along with some important stories that made an impact on why they play. Whether young or old, black or white, or anything in between, musicians do what they do because it brings them joy.
Throughout the ages we seem to see a pattern. Those artists with great emotional burdens or great emotional triumphs have been the ones that make the music that speaks to our souls. Their often times turbulent, wonderful, depressing, and exciting lives provide a soundtrack for ours. It’s a rare occurrence that one finds themselves in the company of a musician who plays their instrument for the sheer mathematics of it all. Most of us do it for enjoyment, and many of us will use it to escape the here and now. I am not writing this column to be sappy or dramatic. Writing this column, from this author’s perspective, is a long overdue acknowledgement for the reasons we get behind our art that so many publications seem to pass by.
The other day at a gig I was shown how playing bass can really make a powerful difference in a life. I had just finished playing a set that I thought went really well. The band was really tight, and we were all feeling the energy, every part was right on. Normally we play smaller shows, but on this occasion we were part of a CD release show for a friend, and the larger crowd provided just what we needed to really go all out. As I was putting down my bass, still running on a lot of adrenaline and a pre show red bull, a young guy that couldn’t have been more than 19 years old came up to me and introduced himself. I will let him remain anonymous. The story he told made an impact on me.
He told me that he enjoyed the show and that when he was a young teen he himself started playing bass. He had played in some bands in high school and had actually toured for a while across New England. Unfortunately, some time after a stint, he started abusing hard drugs. For about a year he was caught in the grip of addiction barely being able to function or live. After some time and support from his family, he finally went to rehab, twice, and got clean. I gave him my congratulations on overcoming such a terrible situation. “I started to practice every night the second time around, and that’s what saved me from relapsing. Whenever I felt weak I would just schedule a rehearsal or just go to the music store to play to get my mind off my demons.” He said how he transferred the money he spent on drugs over to buying new gear, and would be applying to a college in Boston in January as well. We parted ways, and he gave me a smile. It really reminded me how powerful playing an instrument can be; powerful enough for a person to overcome serious odds. Sometimes we need to be reminded how lucky we are to be doing something we love, and how cool it is to be doing something that requires so much heart. That young player’s strong feeling for the bass saved him from a dark future. Remember…keep playing, and stay positive.
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Photo: Self-portrait by Melissa Auf Der Maur
Melissa Auf Der Maur is a Canadian bassist who played with Tinker, Hole, and The Smashing Pumpkins. She released her own work and is a photographer with photos published in Nylon, Bust, and National Geographic. She released her ‘90s Rock Memoir “Even The Good Girls Will Cry” on 17 March 2026.
KB: Did you always want to be a singer-musician growing up?
I’ve played music my whole life. In school, I played trumpet and sang in a children’s choir, so music was always within me. My mother was the first female disc jockey on the Montreal airwaves; her record collection played a huge role in my inspiration and love of music.
KB: When did you start playing bass, and why this instrument?
When I was 19, the early 90s music explosion began to percolate in tiny clubs around the world. I was lucky to be a ticket girl at Montreal’s underground music club. In one year, I saw Hole, Sonic Youth, Smashing Pumpkins, White Zombie, and The Breeders – all had female bass players. That’s when the seed was planted. By the age of 22, I was the bass player of Hole.
KB: Which brands of basses have you used in your career, and which one are you using now?
The first bass that I learned on was a vintage Squier Precision. Hole was sponsored by Fender guitars, so I upgraded to Fender Custom Shop Precisions. That is all I play, but I have a cool vintage 8-string Greco that I use on recordings to thicken up guitar parts.
KB: What equipment do you use or have you used with your basses?
Ampeg SVT amps and cabinets, a couple of Sans-Amp pedals, and that is it.
KB: How did you become a member of Hole, and what is your fondest memory of that time?
Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins was helping scout a replacement for (RIP) Kristen Pfaff, Hole’s bass player. My band, Tinker, opened for them on the Siamese Dream tour, so Billy had seen me play and could vouch for me. Courtney trusted her talented friend, and that was it. I initially said “no thank you” due to my commitment to my photographic studies and the drama and chaos surrounding the band during the “Live Through This” album release. Courtney took it as a good sign that I said no, so convinced me to reconsider, and soon after, I accepted their invitation, in the name of helping put females in the male-dominated landscape of rock music. My fondest memory is every show we played as a mostly female band, symbolizing what a woman could do in a rock band. Every show had a purpose: get more women to play music.
KB: You are a photographer as well. What makes a great picture? Do you shoot in color or b/w?
I started shooting photographs at age 15. Initially only shot black & white and worked in the art school darkroom. In university, I took a color photography course, and shifted mostly and forever to that, because it was easier to process film on the road when I joined a rock band. I experimented with many cameras, point and shoots, manual, polaroids, medium format, and vintage finds. The trick to a good photograph is to shoot many and all the time – the magic is in the edit and selection process.
KB: Are there artists you would love to collaborate with or wish you had?
??I’ve been lucky to collaborate with some of my favorite musicians in my career. I would still love to collaborate with a new generation heavy electronic artist on an analog bass, heavy electronic drums, and synths collaboration project. Take me out of my usual zone, merging the past and future: my love of 80s dark new wave and new artists exploring that genre. It was very futuristic back then, and we are now, after all, living in the future. I am in the mood to play bass to heavy beats I want to dance to.
KB: What are your 7 favorite bass lines in music across all genres? And why these 7?
“Mountain Song” – Jane’s Addiction (love a rambling, rolling bass line – feels like the ocean waves)
“Black Top – Helmet” (was the first bass line I taught myself)
“Gold Dust Woman” – Hole from “The Crow 2” Soundtrack (it was my first bass line contribution to the band)
“Get Ready” – The Temptations (Motown just feels so good, because of the bass)
“Lucretia My Reflection” – Sisters of Mercy (makes me want to hit the dance floor and play bass simultaneously)
“Be My Druidess” – Type O Negative (full chord bass playing at its best by iconic, demonic, Peter Steele, RIP)
“Romantic Rights” – Death from Above (1979 – unique distorted overdriven tone, combined dance rhythm and melodic intelligence, all in one shot – also! Shout out to a bass & drum only band, which is awesome, and we should have more of, but the bass player needs to be a killer to fill that role.
KB: What are you currently up to?
Releasing my ‘90s Rock Memoir “EVEN THE GOOD GIRLS WILL CRY”. Visceral healing process, it was to get it out of me and write it, but I suspect the real magic will begin by putting it into the world and reflecting with others on what the magic of the ‘90s was all about. Powerful music decade that carried us into what is now a brave new world of digital corporate weirdness – may the past shed a light on our future. That’s my hope for this book release and tour.
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